Richard Gyro

Not to be confused with Mr. Trololo.

Richard Gyro is your friendly neighborhood crypto advisor, willing to give advice on everything crypto, and is most definitely NOT trying to scam you out of your money! While Boyfriend and Girlfriend are taking the next flight to... wherever, honestly; they come across famed crypto advisor, Richard Gyro! And so, they sing.

He has three songs, being Get Rich, Short Sale, and Bankrupt.

Appearance
Richard is a light-skinned, tall man with light-brown/blond hair and wearing a brown tuxedo with a yellow tie, gray pants, and brown shoes. He holds a glass of wine in his left hand and rests a laptop on his knee.

In Bankrupt, his wine glass is cracked and the wine is spilled onto his clothes, his hair is now disheveled, and he has a shadow or wrinkles covering his face. His eyes appear black. He seems very enraged. When he sings, he takes his anger out on his laptop

Investment

 * If you hit these notes, you invest some of your money into $ASH. At the end of every song, Richard sells his investment, making your investments worthless and draining your health by a lot.

Stock Market Advice

 * First appearing in Short Sale, if you hit these notes, it pulls up YouTube videos of stock market advice, and you'll need to close them quickly if you don't want to get blueballed.

Trivia

 * Richard and Mr. Trololo are both inspired by the same source.
 * Richard Gyro's cryptocurrency, "$ASH", is a reference to the coder of the mod, Ash.
 * The logo on the back of Richard's laptop also resembles Ash's OC's head.
 * While it may be confusing at first as to how this relates to the FunkJam theme, "Breakout", breakout is actually a crypto term, meaning "a stock price of an asset moving above a resistance area, or below a support area".
 * When Richard sees the stocks rise, he does a pog face, while dollar signs appear in his eyes.
 * Crypto Crackdown's title screen is based on the boxart for GTA 5.
 * Richard's first mechanic, the shiny notes, are based on a scam called a pump and dump scheme. Basically, Richard has a lot already invested, he gets you to buy more of the currency to make it rise, then he sells all of his leaving the investments BF has worthless.
 * For controversial reasons, Richard's voice has replaced Amor's voice in a few songs in Funky Friday for the Bob and Bosip mod.

Dialogue
{{#tag:tabber| {{!}}-{{!}}Pre-Get Rich=

Pre-Get Rich Dialogue

 * ''Somewhere in the sky...


 * ''We see a plane soaring through the sky. We enter the plane, as Portal 1's radio music plays over some indiscernible talking, while we some fruit in a bowl, as well as some "wodka".


 * ''We then see Kade on a poster that says "buy low, sell high", and Bob on a poster, with him on the toilet, saying "Yes!" Richard Gyro clinks his glass of wine, while looking at his laptop. This is the life...~


 * ''He takes a sip, as we hear the Bloxy Cola sip noise. Just then, a person on the intercom speaks up!

Intercom: ''Attention, attendees. A midget has been found in the cockpit, as well as his girlfriend. Please be aware that he has a reputation of rap battling anything and everything. Because he--he's a cunt. H-hehe~ he's a cunt-- Hehehe~! He's a cunt, what the fu--


 * ''The intercom turns off. Richard looks around curiously. He shrugs, before he notices something, letting out a screech, dropping his wine. The Winter Horrorland jumpscare noise plays, as Boyfriend can be seen drooling, while Girlfriend is just... staring off into space.


 * ''Boyfriend stares at Richard, making Ed, Edd, and Eddy sound effects, soon raising his eyebrows. Richard looks... concerned to say the least.


 * -|Get Rich=

Get Rich Dialogue

 * ''Beep!


 * ''Can't you tell I am busy?


 * ''Bo bap.


 * ''Hmmm? You want financial advice?


 * ''Boop!


 * ''Hehe, well... you've come to the right person!


 * ''You'll be golden once you invest in $ASH


 * -|Short Sale=

Short Sale Dialogue

 * ''Panicked beep boop noises


 * ''Eheheh, seems like you didn't invest enough.


 * ''Not enough for it to matter anyways.


 * ''You did hit those shiny notes right?


 * ''BEEP!


 * ''Alright alright, how about some more advice then?


 * ''BEEP BOO BOP!


 * ''I would never!


 * -|Bankrupt=

Bankrupt Dialogue

 * ''BEEP BAP!


 * ''Sorry bud, business is business.




 * ''Why is the graph going down so much?


 * ''lol I exposed u on twitter.


 * ''...what?


 * ''WHO GAVE YOU THE INTERNET PASSWORD?!


 * ''Beep.


 * ''I'M GOING TO KILL HIM AFTER THIS!


 * ''BUT FIRST IT'S YOUR TURN!

}}
 * ''AND YOUR BANK ACCOUNT!

Download Links

 * GameBanana Gamebanana.png
 * Game Jolt Gamejolt.png